As I have said, it was not that long ago that I was terrified at the thought of transitioning, not able to believe that I could ever successfully do this, that society would ever give me permission to transition, but I ultimately concluded that I truly had no other choice and would simply have to make the best of it. I could not go on any longer pretending to be something I never was. Some transsexuals in the past have felt forced to -- and somehow managed to -- transition more discreetly, changing careers, moving to a new town and starting a new life (read Lynn Conway's retrospective for a good example - see "Links" page), but with a mature career, literally hundreds of business connections, and a very visible career as an account manager in hi-tech sales it was pretty obvious as soon as I contemplated it that transition was ultimately going to be a very public affair. I was not just coming out of the closet, but rather more like "burning down" the closet, like the conquistador Hernan Cortez when he came to the new world and burned his boats so there could be no retreat. Once I began, there would be no turning back. When you're in a burning closet, the prudent thing is to go through the door and not look back.
I am sure there are some people who believe I have somehow made some terrible mistake, crossed a moral line, threatened the entire social order, or unhinged the foundations of creation, but with only one exception, thankfully they have had the good courtesy to keep those opinions to themselves, for which I am also quite grateful.
My recovery from nose surgery is going well this week, but perhaps a blog entry is more prudent than attempting another video just yet. The pain is minimal, the drainage has subsided, and I just have some modest fatigue, and the expected Frankenstein-like facial appearance. It was pretty major reconstruction to repair a nose broken years ago one of the times I was beaten up for being "different" and a convenient target. It may even have been the accumulated work of a couple such incidents; there were more than a few. It would be pretty funny if the neanderthal who was responsible could know that he was helping me to get a more feminine nose for MTF transition! LOL (and yes I am about old enough to have lived in the time of neanderthals .... dirt had cooled by then however).
I am encouraged by how well my body has handled this surgery, especially given that I am counting on undertaking other surgeries that are a good deal more radical; at least SRS and hopefully more FFS procedures. (See FAQ page)
Thank you one and all, the many well-wishers who have taken the time to reach out to me in love and encouragement.Your kindness overwhelms me.