Still, there are some hard things, some very hard things. Today an old friend, a pastor that had been a brother to me for many years, responded to a letter I had written giving him an update on the progress and successes of my transition. He had been from the first very compassionate and I could see he was making a sincere effort to try to understand this new thing that he had never really examined before. He had thought he knew that transgender people were a fraud and an abomination, but one day his close friend who he had learned to trust and feel close to came to him and confided to having been transgender throughout my entire life. I know that this had to have rocked his worldview uncomfortably. Today, after some delay responding to my latest letter, he responded with a letter (addressed to my birth name) that he "did not wish to pursue any further contact" with me.
I received that message in the middle of a busy day, and was simply not prepared at that moment to process it. I came home later, sat down, and wrote out what will probably be my final message to one of my dearest friends. Other friends who hear of this sort of rejection are angered by it on my behalf, but I cannot be angry, I am only intensely saddened. The more still because he seems to be doing it out of what I guess he feels as a Christian conviction to separate himself from me. Perhaps in truth it is because my reality explodes his worldview in ways that are just too uncomfortable for him to contemplate; it is easier to abandon a long time friend than to re-examine long-cherished views, however misguided those ideas may be.
My dear old friend, I weep over the loss of your friendship, I would gladly welcome you back to my life if ever you come to a different understanding of these things. I will harbor no resentment or ill will and embrace you joyously. Until then, I will weep privately sometimes at the empty place in my life you once occupied.
Sadder still is that he, and others like him are not just rejecting me, but all the others like me who have had enough pain in their lives already and don't deserve such treatment. As close friends have observed in sympathy, it seems quite un-Christ-like for a man who considers himself a very devoted Christian. Sadly the church can only be built of sinners.
God bless you old friend. I will love you always.
Your sister in Christ,