We met on a large reputable online dating site and had been chatting for a few weeks; a very nice conversation all in all. He seems to have manufactured quite an elaborate background story about his career, an old rural school house that he's been remodeling on a small acreage farm, and a serious injury he's been recovering from after falling off a 22' ladder. He told me he lived near Junction City (just outside of Eugene, Oregon) and got me to drive three hours round trip to come meet him face to face since he was "not recovered enough to have the strength for the long drive." Unlike other scammers I've run across online, he had a very elaborate dating site profile that expressed some very interesting, creative, even intelligent sentiments. He had lots of pictures of himself and the house he'd been working on. The daily routine he described over the course of several weeks that we chatted seemed entirely reasonable; dinner one night with his daughter, the agony of his slow recovery from injuries, trouble getting the cable company to hook up his internet service, etc. He wasn't a very good speller, but these days very few people online are. I was particularly interested because his pictures were kind of cute, and his profile said he was six foot four inches tall; at six foot tall myself, I admit to being quite a sucker for a tall guy.
My first clue that he might not be for real, and might not show up for our date this evening, was that his profile on the online dating site disappeared a couple of hours before I was due to leave for this first face to face meeting, and the online dating site chat was the only way I had to communicate with him. Knowing there was a good chance I was going to be stood up, I had the presence of mind to bring my laptop so I could sit and do some writing while I waited for this parasite who seemed unlikely to show up. I contemplated not coming, but then I might never know for sure, and it was remotely possible that his profile disappearing could be explained.
I am left wondering about his motivation: An emotional vandal who just gets a vicarious chuckle out of imagining the heartache he can cause, even though he runs away from the scene and never sees the effect he has on his victim? An originally sincere guy who lost his nerve? A stalker who lures his victim out to some remote place just to stand at a distance and watch her frustration? Or, worse? (No worries, I am very careful!) Certainly, a weak cowardly social parasite!
So very sad that there have to be people like this in the world. I rank him one notch above computer hackers that create malicious computer viruses, just because they can; sand in the gears of decent society.
Sighhhh, it should not be so difficult to find someone worthy of my love and affection, but this latest disappointment will not succeed in crushing my spirit. Somewhere there is someone who will want me in his life as much as I will want him in mine. I will continue to take delight in many wonderful friendships, always on the lookout for new friends, and shaking off the sand when necessary.
Cheers and hugs all!!!
- Theresa - Still and always delighted with my life, even in life's little disappointments.
ps: 03/31/2014 - The very next day it happened yet again! Some guy contacted me through a dating site and asked if we could meet the next day for brunch in McMinnville, and then he never showed up. That makes three times now, two this past week! I have yet to meet a single person through an online dating site in four months. I guess if a guy who contacts me through a dating site ever does turn out to be for real I might just pass out from shock. I am seriously considering quitting all the free dating sites and focusing on Match.com. I'm thinking the pranksters won't pay for a subscription just to harass people. - ts